today is a "special" day for our family in two ways. today was the day i went into labor with my firstborn (who will be 4 tomorrow!). today is also the day we went into "labor" with our thirdborn daughter as we joined our adoption agency's waitlist.
waiting for leila to be born was painful. the nine months leading up to her birth were wonderful and full of the unknown and anticipation. and the labor was, well, it was painful but still full of anticipation and an urgency to finally embrace this child that i had waited "so long" for.
waiting for our next daughter to be born into our family is painful, too. i may not be the one giving birth to her, but my heart is still as attached to her life as if i were. we are full of the unknown and anticipation, and our hearts ache to embrace her...especially when we are waiting a long time for her.
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One year. 52 weeks. 365 days. 8,760 hours. 525,600 minutes. 31,536,000 seconds.
The beginning.
One year ago, we were notified that we’d been placed on the waitlist to adopt our future daughter. One year filled with waiting, tears, prayers, fasting, hope, frustration, acceptance, thankfulness, yearning, and missing someone who might not even been born yet!
It’ll probably be some years more until our family is joined with its next member, and we wait…hopeful, anticipating, and joyful for our future together! God’s timing is perfect, and He is continuing to grow ME through this process of waiting!
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But, now, for a public service announcement. No, really, I have a little soap box to get on because of my short 18 months of experience in this realm. I want to share something important about being a prospective adoptive parent.
Based on what I’ve read from agency review boards, others’ experiences, investigative reporting, and books, the more glad I am for the first choice we made - selecting our agency. Adoption is sticky and prone to corruption based on high demand. And, it’s us, the prospective adoptive parents, who feed the unethical practices in adoption. I was very surprised to arrive at this…because, adoption is a beautiful thing – a way to grow and make families – something GOOD and God-led! But we have a responsibility to make decisions that do not encourage unethical practices, which includes choosing an adoption agency that doesn’t promote short wait-times or healthy children or putting my interests/desires/convenience above the well-being/what’s best for an adopted child. My heart has been broken to read about agencies who have made forever families by deceiving, manipulating, and/or cutting children out of women’s wombs or that put the convenience to the parents above the welfare of their future adoptive child. It makes my heart break for places where it’s been made it into a money-making business.
I know my agency’s not perfect, but I think they truly work to be ethical. They’ve never hid the truth and have never made promises and have been the first to deliver “bad” news. Of course, that doesn’t make the waiting easier, but it makes me more at peace in the waiting knowing that they are doing their best to do what’s right for the children and work with integrity in a system full of corruption.
I am prayerful that prospective adoptive families will SERIOUSLY consider their role in feeding the adoption “business” and make it no small task in selecting whom they will be working with through the adoption process. I mean it. Research, ask questions – lots of tough questions, and really evaluate your heart on ethical adoption (e.g., would you be able to stop in the middle of the process, after you’ve invested tens of thousands of dollars, if you found out that the child they were trying to match you with was unethically “obtained”)…
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off soap box.
i'm not fully knowledgeable about these things, as one who is going through it for the first time, but my heart is focused and my aim is do to what i can to promote ethical adoptions for future prospective adoptive families.
thank you for your prayers. God be glorified!
waiting for leila to be born was painful. the nine months leading up to her birth were wonderful and full of the unknown and anticipation. and the labor was, well, it was painful but still full of anticipation and an urgency to finally embrace this child that i had waited "so long" for.
waiting for our next daughter to be born into our family is painful, too. i may not be the one giving birth to her, but my heart is still as attached to her life as if i were. we are full of the unknown and anticipation, and our hearts ache to embrace her...especially when we are waiting a long time for her.
-
One year. 52 weeks. 365 days. 8,760 hours. 525,600 minutes. 31,536,000 seconds.
The beginning.
One year ago, we were notified that we’d been placed on the waitlist to adopt our future daughter. One year filled with waiting, tears, prayers, fasting, hope, frustration, acceptance, thankfulness, yearning, and missing someone who might not even been born yet!
It’ll probably be some years more until our family is joined with its next member, and we wait…hopeful, anticipating, and joyful for our future together! God’s timing is perfect, and He is continuing to grow ME through this process of waiting!
-
But, now, for a public service announcement. No, really, I have a little soap box to get on because of my short 18 months of experience in this realm. I want to share something important about being a prospective adoptive parent.
Based on what I’ve read from agency review boards, others’ experiences, investigative reporting, and books, the more glad I am for the first choice we made - selecting our agency. Adoption is sticky and prone to corruption based on high demand. And, it’s us, the prospective adoptive parents, who feed the unethical practices in adoption. I was very surprised to arrive at this…because, adoption is a beautiful thing – a way to grow and make families – something GOOD and God-led! But we have a responsibility to make decisions that do not encourage unethical practices, which includes choosing an adoption agency that doesn’t promote short wait-times or healthy children or putting my interests/desires/convenience above the well-being/what’s best for an adopted child. My heart has been broken to read about agencies who have made forever families by deceiving, manipulating, and/or cutting children out of women’s wombs or that put the convenience to the parents above the welfare of their future adoptive child. It makes my heart break for places where it’s been made it into a money-making business.
I know my agency’s not perfect, but I think they truly work to be ethical. They’ve never hid the truth and have never made promises and have been the first to deliver “bad” news. Of course, that doesn’t make the waiting easier, but it makes me more at peace in the waiting knowing that they are doing their best to do what’s right for the children and work with integrity in a system full of corruption.
I am prayerful that prospective adoptive families will SERIOUSLY consider their role in feeding the adoption “business” and make it no small task in selecting whom they will be working with through the adoption process. I mean it. Research, ask questions – lots of tough questions, and really evaluate your heart on ethical adoption (e.g., would you be able to stop in the middle of the process, after you’ve invested tens of thousands of dollars, if you found out that the child they were trying to match you with was unethically “obtained”)…
-
off soap box.
i'm not fully knowledgeable about these things, as one who is going through it for the first time, but my heart is focused and my aim is do to what i can to promote ethical adoptions for future prospective adoptive families.
thank you for your prayers. God be glorified!